How to boulder when you are super duper sick

Let me tell you about last weekend. I woke up Friday after spending Thursday in bed with a cough. I had made plans with Elaine and Joe to climb, and when I wasn't positively dying that morning, I decided that a "little cough" was not gonna keep me out of the mountains. Sure, I sounded like a frog who'd swallowed a broken battery and found myself occasionally collapsing in a hot hacking mess, but I was fiiine. FIIINE.

(No, I wasn't.)

But we met Evan and Chris at Little Rock City, and it was a good day, and I almost sent Sternum (V5), and I FINALLY SENT PANCAKE MANTLE!!!! (Click here for an introduction to my personal Pancake Mantle saga.)

#victoryselfie on the pancake.

Elaine sent The Big Much (V4) and Latin for Dagger (V5), and Evan and Chris worked on Biggie Shorty (V10). And other things happened. But by 5 p.m., I was dooone. Donedonedone. Done. I walked/hacked/slowly crept like a decrepit sea hag back to the clubhouse alone, ready to trade my soul for a cup of tea. The clubhouse man was locking the door when I arrived, but he took pity on me and let me fill a styrofoam cup with hot water inside. Bless him. Then I sat crouched on the steps using my crashpad as a blanket, wearing three hats and covering my face with my gloved hands, prompting inquiries from concerned passersby who probably thought I was crying or possessed.

Eventually everybody else showed up, and I went with Evan and Elaine to this neat brewery, which I didn't appreciate because I was dying, and then we stayed in her friend's actual log cabin, which I didn't Instagram because I was dying, and when I woke up I was pretty much dead. But that wasn't gonna stop me.

I was in much worse shape physically this day, but I planned better than I had for LRC, and I sent my first V5 at Rocktown! It is called Slapper, and I owe it all to Traditional Medicinals.

I could tell you some more stuff about the trip (we met up with a bunch of Athens folks, and Nick flashed a seven and a six, and then he sprained his ankle, and I got to tape someone else up for once), but instead I leave you this gift:

A Packing List for the Sick Boulderer

Sweet Stan.

Let's be honest: if you are sick, you should not be climbing. You are just gonna make yourself sicker (I was in bed for two days after Rocktown), and you're not going to climb your best. But if you are stubborn and your body has bad timing, there are a few items that will help you out.

1. A Thermos: I have been wanting to get a thermos for a while. I spent a lot of time last week researching Hydro Flasks, Stanley thermoses, and Zojirushi vacuum bottles. I didn't want to rush such an important decision! But after I finished Friday's climbing session with such a desperate need for warm liquid, I knew a thermos had become a necessity. And the most convenient option that night was whatever Walmart had to offer — which happened to be a 32 oz Stanley monster. Saturday morning, I filled it with tea and lemon and a jalapeño. All day, it was like a magical elixir of hot nourishment and sending power. OK, so I only sent the one problem, and I didn't actually climb that much. But it really improved my day! I think without it I would have been a very cranky frog.

2. Throat Coat tea by Traditional Medicinals: This is THE BEST thing for a sore throat. Honestly, I think it works best without anything added (although the lemon and jalapeño were revitalizing for me, I think my throat would have fared best without them). It also just tastes really good. And if something else is ailing you, this company has a lot of other great teas. I recommend the PMS Tea and the Breathe Easy. And the Ginger Aid. And everything else.

3. A blanket: I didn't actually have one of these, but I wished I did. Because even if you think you are going to climb as hard and as often as you do at your best, you aren't. And while you are sitting around watching your friends climb and trying to convince yourself that you feel FINE, ALRIGHT?, you are going to get cold. I had to make do with the extra fleece I had thought to bring, but there was definitely room in my pack for a rolled-up car blanket.

4. Extra TP: Really. I didn't think about this beforehand, but when you are drinking extra fluids because you are sick and dying and all, you are going to have to pee more than usual. So bring twice as much toilet paper as you usually need, because you don't want to have to ration it as the day wears on.

5. Low Expectations: You are probably not going to have much energy today. Saturday, I sent Slapper after about an hour, tried Rescue 911 (V5) twice, and then only had four burns left in me for Golden Showers (V5). But it was still a really fun day because I got to watch my friends crush, drink yummy tea, and experiment with my monster voice!

I hope these tips are helpful for any other foolhardy climbers. If you have any advice I didn't think of, leave it in the comments! <3

Sprain, sprain, go away

You know how in my last post, I waxed poetic about subverting the climbing gods by not hurting myself on the one-year anniversary of my tragic Rocktown ankle sprain? Jinxed it.

Elaine, Caroline, and I rode to Rocktown on Saturday with one of the Chrises in spite of the fact that like, eight people had bailed on the trip on account of a cold, cold forecast. (I believe the high was going to be 34? 35? I keep trying to check Facebook and then forgetting what I am doing there and getting lost in engagement photos and something about Nancy Grace.)

It was indeed very cold. Like, 19 degrees when we arrived around 9. NINETEEN DEGREES. But we persevered because we love rocks, and we drove three hours to reach them, and we were probably too prideful to accept that everyone else had been wiser and we should've stayed home. At least, that's kinda how I felt. Also, I was a little afraid that if we began really voicing our misery we might start feeding off each other and collapse into a sobbing puddle of suffering.

On the bright side, we ran into a lot of friends! Including Atlas, our favorite climbing toddler. Apparently a bunch of groups from Athens (and not-Athens) had decided to forge through the cold. One group had even camped, which sounds just ugh, but good for them and their dedication...

I had really been wanting to get Caroline on Soap On A Rope (V4), so after numbing/burning our fingers a bit on the warmup Orb boulders, the three of us ladies got right to it (this was around the time when Chris found a supa strong bro squad to project with. Bye, Chris!). But we really couldn't feign enthusiasm in that cold, and soon we kinda gave up on seriously projecting it. It was a bit discouraging, but soon the sun came out and the temps rapidly rose.

So we went to Golden Showers (V5)! This is going to be my first five, I just know it. This time around, I finally stuck the sloper that had been SO HARD the previous weekend. Everyone humored me on it for a while, but once I started digressing, we packed up for The Hobbit (V5, aka Diamond in the Rough). This is a really cool problem with a slight incline and sloper jugs and fun beta you can make as swingy or as static as you want. Elaine is about to finish this guy, I progressed a few moves, and Caroline got farther on her first burn than I did during my first session. But eventually we all started to tucker out, so we decided to rest for a bit and move on.

Caroline on The Hobbit

We ended up at Screaming Church Girls (V4), Caroline's long-term project and the bane of my climbing experience. Seriously, this problem incorporates all of my least-favorite things about climbing: a high-feet sit-start, scrunchy static movement, and crimps that hurt — right before a long move to topout jugs that would ordinarily be no problem for me. This problem makes me feel like a giant frog with a giant frog butt and unusually long frog legs. It's one of those climbs I'll try twice on every trip and then scoff at.

But Caroline has been working on it for a year and a half, and she was determined to send. And between my grumbling, half-hearted attempts at the horrid thing, SHE DID!!!

It was a proud moment for us all <3

So then I tried a little harder and discovered some start beta with lower feet that worked for me. And I didn't send, but I got through all the scrunchy moves that had been so hard for me before tiring out at the big move, which was also exciting but still frustrating, so now I feel like I haaave to try it again... *grumble grumble*

So go Caroline!! After that success, we checked out a V4 none of us had tried before called Serendipity. It is weird-looking with a curved crack and — well, the beginning looks like this:

It goes up and left to this ball-y thing and is pretty high. Elaine eventually sent it (yay Elaine!), but I was still daydreaming about Golden Showers and didn't even get on this one. Instead, I headed back to that beautiful boulder, knowing somebody would have pads under it.

Actually, a lot of somebodies did. There was a crew working the adjacent V10, Golden Harvest, and another on my proj. So I hopped on, and lo and behold — I stuck the sloper and the undercling! Now I was getting excited — I just had to throw for the big slopers and top the thing out.

In retrospect, I definitely should have rested longer between burns. But I didn't, and I got tired, then sloppy, and then I fell going for the undercling — not even the slopers — and then I rolled my ankle.

It hurt. I swore. I took deep breaths and had a mental freakout waiting for shock symptoms to wash over me like last time, but they never did — my first good sign. Then I could kinda-sorta put a teensy bit of weight on it at just the right angle, another good sign. It still needed tape, though, and I was fumbling. This guy who had been working Harvest came up to me and was like, "Have you ever taped an ankle before?" "Um, not really," I admitted. "Me neither, but I'm really drunk right now," he said. I think he was kidding? The tape job looked pretty bad but served its purpose well. Thanks, possibly drunk ankle-taping man!

The whole thing was pretty embarrassing, but at least it was toward the end of the day. Chris found Elaine and Caroline, and we had a leisurely walk (hobble) back via the main trail. I was super bummed at first because this is the first weekend I've had off in a long time, and Evan and I had been planning a camping trip. But I've been icing it all week, so I'm hoping I can climb on it a *little* tomorrow. It is still a little swollen and kind of painful at times, and I will definitely wear a brace, but I've been walking almost normally the last few days without one. I've been calling it a "minor sprain" and drinking lots of turmeric. I'm just gonna take it *mostly* easy tomorrow.

In other news, Taylor and I have already failed on the 30-day yoga front. We decided we will start over in February. So maybe it will be 28 days of yoga? I dunno. Still better than no days of yoga!

And I am taking weight training! It's one of my PE classes this semester, and I am learning a lot. My deltoids and triceps have been sore this week, so I hope that means I will be stronger tomorrow. Because I am definitely going to Rocktown, and I am getting on Golden Showers, and it might be a bad idea, but this time I will bring my first-aid kit and an ice pack.

Happy New Year, I love boulders, etc.

This majestic beast is named Bananas. All photo cred to Sista Fran. 

I like to think that New Year's at Rocktown is now a thing. We went last year, and yesterday, we went again — although we rolled in pretty late post-NYE-ing. January 1st is probably the only day I will ever be OK with leaving at 7 a.m. for a climbing trip. Until I move somewhere with climbing less than three hours away, I guess. Which hopefully will be soonish but you know.

Anyway, this time, Sista Fran got to come! Taylor has been climbing for longer than I have, but she had to take a bunch of time off and stays so busy she had never made it outside. It was really exciting getting to show her around Rocktown, which I think is a pretty epic first taste of outdoor bouldering.

Seester + Lucy.

+ Lucy's hair.

In the weeks leading up to this particular trip (during which every day I had off was a day when it rained >:[ ), I for some reason imagined our crew as the only one in the park. I dunno, I guess I thought the rest of the South's climbers would be sleeping off hangovers? Well, I was wrong, and there were tons of people at the crag. Fortunately, they all turned out to be lovely folks full of friendly beta and encouragement, and they had dogs. So that was great.

Don't you love that girl's hat? She has strong fingers and a little dog named Rumi.

Since the Orb area was packed when we arrived, we headed to some apparently classic other climbs to warm up. One was called El Clásico, but I don't recall which one it was or what the other thing we climbed was called. They were both kinda highbally for my tastes, but Taylor was pretty fearless on them. Still, I was excited when I finally got to show her my favorite zeros and ones in the Orb area at the end of the day.

There was so much joy in the day. See Nick's joy?

More joy. And Sam. And Sam's hat.

Since we really only had about seven hours of good climbing time, we didn't go all over the place like we otherwise might have. The guys worked on Golden Harvest (V10) and The Orb (V8), and Lucy and I projected The Hobbit (V5), Golden Showers (V5), and Soap on a Rope (V4) — all of which I think we can send in another session or two. I worked on them with Elaine a couple of weeks ago, and I am more psyched on these three problems than on anything else I've tried, ever. I < 3 slopers!

Me < 3-ing slopers.

I found myself feeling unreasonably relieved at the end of the day (which by the way was perfect and ended with vegan pizza at Mellow Mushroom) when I realized that with the exception of a single bloody pinky, I had not injured myself. You see, a year ago yesterday I fell while attempting what would become my first V3, Super Mario, and sprained my ankle. It wasn't really that bad, but that was when I first developed a teensy fear of falling. (It reached the ludicrous proportions we now know after my first bad lead fall, but we can talk about that later.) My ankle is still swollen... maybe I should be worried about that? Anyway. I didn't get hurt, and I'm happy about that, because maybe it means I broke some kind of curse under which the climbing gods would otherwise have me dwell.

I really think my pull-up obsession (I'm up to eight!) is starting to pay off. Not in the ways I thought it would — lock offs are still just ugh — but my abs are definitely stronger, and static-but-strengthy movement is way more possible than it was a few months ago. I so recommend pull-ups to any girl (or, I guess, person) trying to get stronger fast.

Do you have new year's resolutions? I am very pro-resolution, any time of year. I have a bunch, but they don't have anything to do with climbing. I'll tell them to you anyway, though, because this seems like a good spot for a list:

~*~

1. Be more of an adult. This means wear "real clothes," budget better, spend my time wisely, and wear makeup when I feel like it.

2. Make more music, see more music. It's always been a huge part of my life, except recently, and I miss it a lot.

3. Don't say "no" without a reason. I'm in the terrible habit of turning people down when they ask me to do something simply because it wasn't part of how I originally envisioned my evening. Or saying that I'll go to a show or something and then not because my bed is so cozy or it's cold outside or I don't wanna put on pants or whatever. And I just need to start going.

~*~

I don't want to make resolutions about climbing. I'd rather see what happens. I know I'm working hard and that's how you progress. But I'm also realizing climbing can't be my number one priority right now; I've got to make money and study and apply for jobs and graduate and all that.

But I'm not worried : ) 2015 is off to a great start — I climbed at my favorite place with some of my favorite people yesterday, and today Taylor and I started Yoga with Adriene's 30 Days of Yoga. Tomorrow, I'll finish up an article for Flagpole, and I might paint my nails post-gym!

Oh, and did I mention I cleaned my room? It was an ankle-trapping minefield before, but now it is yoga-ready and smells like macaroons. < 3

Summertime Radness: A sunny day at Rocktown

Remember how in my last post, I declared Little Rock City “my second-favorite bouldering spot?” Well, my first-favorite is Rocktown*. And after shredding my fingertips and ego bouldering at LRC, I was aching to get back to Lafayette**.

So on Thursday, I posted this Facebook status:

I didn’t expect it to work; most people seem to prefer air-conditioned gym climbing to summer bouldering. But I just had to go, and I hoped against hope to entice a carful of others dying to slide on slimy slopers in the Georgia heat.

And I did! Five folks wanted in on the foolishness, and although two of them backed out to nurse injuries (:(), at 5 a.m. on Sunday, my workweek dreams came true.

And this time, I wasn’t the only girl! Sitting with me in the backseat of Elliot’s car, listening to NPR’s Radiolab and also enduring the poorly prepared coffee struggle, was Lucy, Active Climbing’s favorite 13-year-old. It was her second outdoor trip ever, and I was psyched for her to try out some of the South’s finest sandstone.

Read Lucy’s take on the trip here!

After my Pancake Mantle meltdown at LRC, I went into this trip knowing it wasn’t a day to throw myself at anything. Psych was high, but expectations were low — the right balance of attitudes for a humid day of sloper-slipping.

Still, I couldn’t just walk past my projects! So we got on Trouble (V3), Isle of Beautiful Women (V4), Screaming Church Girls (V4), and Golden Showers (V5). Lucy made quick work of Trouble, and I alllmost topped it out like, nine times, but nothing else was gonna go. So we goofed off on 1s and 2s (some of which were still not gonna go) until our tips were raw. And it was so fun! Supastrong Chris even lead the way, finding easy climbs in my (brand new!) guidebook and seeking them out.

Chris worked a V7 for a while too. That's probably kind of like us working 2s?

It was weird seeing Rocktown so empty. We ran into just two other climbing groups, and only one dog, a sweet golden retriever named Veda. I took Lucy over to the Super Mario boulder, wanting to get her on its eponymous V3 (and try out Luigi and Yoshi myself), but the area had turned into fire ant territory, and there were cobwebs all up in dem holds.

Real life desertion.

So we played on jugs some more, destroyed our tips, and left for Athens. Now Lucy and I have a girls’ trip in the works with Caroline & co., and I can’t wait to use my newly purchased group pass when the friction gets good.

Oh, and also — my hair looked awesome on Monday. Remember how I gave up shampoo in July? Well, I think my hair is finally pulling through the adjustment period. I’m active enough that I have to do the baking soda and vinegar thing pretty often, but Sunday night, I didn’t even do that because a.) my fingers hurt too much and b.) it looked...fine. And even the following night, after only a rinse in 36 very active hours and a five-hour deli shift at work, it was shiny and voluminous and not gross at all. No 'poo for the win!

*~*~Footnotes~*~*

*First-favorite of the places I’ve been, that is; I’ve been told Horsepens 40 is magical, and I can’t wait to see it this fall.

**Pronounced “Luh-FAY-it;” #southernswag

V2 Tears: My pancake lament

Unrelated Soddy-Daisy sky shot

I hate Pancake Mantle.

If you haven't heard of it, Pancake Mantle is a V2 at Little Rock City (aka Stone Fort), my second-favorite bouldering spot. It is this goofy climb that requires you to pull yourself up onto this pancakey piece of rock and mantle/thigh-scum/desperately butt-hop to the top-out. It's like, three moves, and everybody thinks it's oh so funny and is like, "Have you tried Pancake Mantle LOL it's so funny right OMG you should do it right now DO IIIT" every time I'm at LRC.

Oh, yes. I've tried the insidious 'cake.

I'm gonna call myself a solid V3/V4 climber, but I cannot do Pancake Mantle. I've tried on four occasions, and I simply can't pull myself onto the pancake. Which I suppose isn't that surprising because I can't do a pullup on a bar either, but like, it's a V2, man. IT'S A V2.

So when I made an impromptu trip to LRC on Sunday with Evan and our friend Matt, I maybe should have passed Ole Cakey and just kept walking. But instead, I turned back to confront the enemy. And then I attacked it for thirty minutes, scraped my arm up, didn't send, and started to cry.

That's right. I cried at Pancake Mantle. "BUT IT'S A VEE TEWWW," I shudder-wept at Evan. I compared it to the myriad V3s and V4s I've worked that are "S-SO MUCH EASIER. IT'S NOT FUH-AIR. HOW IS THIS A VEE TEWWW?" I wavered between accusing the surely burly dude who probably graded this problem of taking his upper body strength for granted and not really knowing the life of a V2 climber and lamenting that I should be able to do any 2, 'cause I've been climbing for a year, man, and 2s are a thing of last July. After sitting on a rock and pouting/sniffling/breathing deeply for a while, I reluctantly moved to where the guys were working some V5 dyno and pouted over there instead. I felt better after sending Rib Cage (V3), which I'd projected before, but the feeling of Pancake Failure stayed with me.

But you know what? I need to get over it. Pancake Mantle is obviously not my style, and there are lots of problems that throwing myself at would actually be fun and productive. And although my pullup inability is definitely an obstacle to be overcome, the only reason this problem is so upsetting to me is because of that silly number.

'Cause really, in some ways the numbers are silly, and pretty subjective. Sure, V points are a good way to measure your general progress, but there's a lot more to climbing than grade-hopping. Here are some things I can do now that I couldn't do before I started climbing:

- open doors on campus with one arm instead of my entire body weight (gonna call this a V1 move)

- pour sugar with one hand on the bag and no spillage (V2)

- pick up industrial-sized bean cans with one hand (def V2)

- make it to the Kroger checkout without trading my produce basket for a buggy (V1/V2, depending on what's in season)

et cetera.

Also, some projects I will probably send before I get Pancake Mantle ('cause I will get it someday):

- Two Can Sam (V3, LRC)

- Swingers (V4, LRC)

- Super Mario (V4, LRC)

- Trouble (V3, Rocktown)

- Screaming Church Girls (V4, Rocktown)

- Isle of Beautiful Women (V4, Rocktown)

- Golden Showers (V5, Rocktown — I mean, maybe.)

Text break!

The rest of the day was pretty nice in spite of my breakdown and the 92-degree heat. The guys had a better attitude than I did and climbed fun stuff below their grades after working Red House (V7) for a bit. The coolest part for me, though, was all the critters that were out! We saw so many caterpillars. Also, salamanders (I think), but they were camera shy.

Anyway, next time I'm at Little Rock City, I'm heading straight to my projects. I may give Pancake Mantle a few courtesy tries, but if the send isn't imminent, I'll shrug it off and move on to Super Mario.

Pictures!

Same photo, different bro. #sorrynotsorry

Oh, yeah! And I changed the blog name to Eat & Climb, because well duh. And now I'm domain-name legit.